In serious need of motivation

So I have my first run of the season in a week and I can't for the life of me get myself to put on my running shoes when I get home from work. I wake too early and commute for an hour. I'm sure I'm going to really hate myself when it comes.

I also put back on the 5 pounds I've fought so much to lose. This is getting exhausting.

Put back on all the weight I just lost. So here’s to a three-day detox. I have a whole bunch of shakeology around the house that I've always had a hard time bringing myself to drink daily.  So I'll put it to use and maybe get myself back on track. We shall see how it goes.

CIGNA Fitness headSMART

Week 1 day 3 

Breakfast check in

Saturday, What did I eat?

Week 1 day 4 

Breakfast check in

Sunday I didn’t eat breakfast except a banana.

Week 1 day 5  Monday

Are digestives healthy? These are some delicious biscuits I get from the UK. They are great dipped in tea or coffee. Low sugar and high in fiber. Not bad. 

Sipped on water during my commute. I need to have breakfast ready for mornings. This is always easier said than done.

Anti-diet week 1 day who cares

Overcoming obstacles

Set a concrete plan to overcome obstacles.

I shouldn’t have started so many of these programs at once. I stopped several of them and got down to only 2.

CIGNA Fitness headSMART Week 1 Day 1

My Galaxy S7 suggested this Cigna app in the SHealth app. My health insurance is through Cigna so I figured why not, it's free. It has you take a quiz and it gives you suggestions on programs. The second program I'm going to start is called Fitness headSMART.

What’s your motivation? To feel epic in my bikini on our vacation

What are your goals for this program? To loose weight.

What has gotten in your way before? Time and energy.

Who can you rely on to support you? My boyfriend.

Cigna Health Anti-Diet Week 1 Day2

My Galaxy S7 suggested this Cigna app in the SHealth app. My health insurance is through Cigna so I figured why not, it's free. It has you take a quiz and it gives you suggestions on programs. The first program I'm going to work through is called the Anti-diet. 

Day 2

Flip your mindset

Take note of any negativity today and remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with kindness.

Love yourself

Make a list of qualities you love about yourself.

I like that I’m knowledgeable. I know a lot of random facts and figures. It sometimes drives people crazy. I always want to learn and try things so I guess that helps make life interesting for me. I have naturally thick hair that gets natural highlights in the sun. I have yet to see grays. I am not fat or overly thin. I have curves. 

Cigna Health Anti-Diet Week 1 Day1

My Galaxy S7 suggested this Cigna app in the SHealth app. My health insurance is through Cigna so I figured why not, it's free. It has you take a quiz and it gives you suggestions. The first program I'm going to work through is called the Anti-diet. 

Day 1 List 5 to 10 feelings associated with dieting.

I mean I know I never liked to call what I was doing dieting but it’s what I’ve done many times. Anytime it was brought up I’d shun the crazy things women in the office were doing to lose weight. I knew it wouldn’t do anything. You don’t deserve ice cream for walking more than what you did yesterday and that salad with all those toppings and heavy dressings are just making you depressed. I was vegetarian for a while. It was a nice way to save money as meats expensive and it also gave me nice skin. I even went vegan for 2 weeks but I love cheese and eggs too much. My boyfriend did that one with me and he said it made him realize how important veggies were. All those diets are limiting. You have to avoid foods. After awhile you avoid people too. You just don't want to talk about it with other people. 

My words associated with dieting:

Buzzwords

Vegetarian – meat free

Gluten free

Vegan – meat and dairy free

Limiting

Avoid

High Heel shoes

I used to dislike the girls at work who wore high heels. I own a lot of pairs but I only ever wear them to parties or holidays. I've come to decide that they just made me uncomfortable (the girls not the shoes). I never thought I could be that type of women whatever that meant. Today I wore my most comfortable heels for the sole purpose that my pants are long, I'm short and it is raining. I've noticed that where I'm normally ignored by passersby, which suits me fine I'm rather shy, that hasn't been the case today. I even had a guy do a double take. It could be I'm holding myself different. I had a theatre coach tell me that in the halls she'd see me and my body language was withdrawn. In heels, you have to hold yourself up taller or you'll fall over. This would give your body a much more open, less withdrawn, appearance. Maybe I need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before I judge them?

Jamberry Nails

Alright, I've finally come to a decision. I am not a fan of Jamberry nails. I'm kind of said about this. They seemed like a cool idea with all the neat designs. I'm very picky about my nails. My nails, when I take care of myself, are naturally french tipped without much effort. My old roommates used to hate me for just putting clear nail polish on when they dropped a lot of money on fake nails. Luckily my best friend loves them so she can have them. Win!

Jamberry jury still out

I'm trying jamberry nails again for the second time. I'm still not sure how I feel about them. The designs are cool until I get them on my nails. I don't get that satisfying feeling of coating the whole nail in color. If you do then the oils from your skin peel them up and make them bubble. So from all the YouTube videos I've watched, is best to go with wraps smaller than your nail. That was my mistake the first time I tried.

So this second time I tried to choose small ones. I still can't get them 100% flat. As long as I hold my hands at a distance they look nice. Also as long as I stop obsessively feeling the tips of my nails for how not flush they are I'm alright. I'm going to have to get used to them I guess. I've bought enough of them.

Tontouring after shower

I thought I would take a picture of me after a shower. This way you can tell I don't have any makeup on. I like that I went with the gradual tanners because they aren't harsh and you can slowly work up to look you want. It is also easy to upkeep. The tutorial I read online that used the mouse tanner looked complex and you had to wait a few hours and then wash up the tanner. That just seems too complicated. So far I've only put on the gradual tanners twice in 3 days. The second time was only a small touch up.\

Plus you got to love being able to exit a shower feeling like you have a little makeup on.

Can you see the backward 3? or if you want to think of it the E. Subtle and not orange! Win!

To go makeup bag

It's important even for low maintenance girls to have a small makeup bag for quick fixes. You never know what the day will bring. One night I had a plan to meet up with a friend for an event and it turns out I had the time wrong. This didn't allow me time to go home and go from day to night so luckily my little bag did.

I have seen women who have such a large makeup bag that it takes up more space than my luggage for a weekend getaway. I don't understand it. Not all women are like this but I'm talking about the ones that look painted, fake, clownlike, where you can see that their makeup layers their skin to the point of distraction. What's wrong with a natural look? I do like to get all dolled up and painted for parties but not daily. I literally was painted for a blacklight party I threw.

I knew a girl in college who was beautiful but I'd see her nearly pour an entire bottle of concealer on her face. No one needs that much makeup. It's wasteful, costly and I can't even imagine what it does to your skin. I told her this. That she was beautiful without all of that thick layer on her skin. She said I wouldn't know because I had good skin. From then on I've always focused on good skin care. I pretty much do it all except for satin sheets.

I have two cousins who were born within a  month of me. One of them was only 4 days from me. They both smoke, sun tan without sunscreen, and other acts that I avoid. They are already showing signs of aging. One of them was asked if she put her age 10 years younger than what she looked on a dating site. The other one married a guy older than her parents. It doesn't make her look younger but instead older. Anyway since I was always the nerdy one of the group I like to reveal in the fact that during adulthood I've held on to my good skin.

Anyway . . .

What's in the bag?

Revlon Photo Ready Eye Art.

It's in Peach Prism color which is a neutral color that goes well for a natural look. It has an eye shadow side that applies easily and stays very well. It's got a glittery side which can change up the look or add a pop as an eyeliner or switch you from day to night easily.

MaryKay smoke and shimmer eye wand.

I wonder if they still carry this. I have mine in gold illusion color. It's much much more subtle than the Revlon one. It's easy to apply.

Wet n wild mega plump double threat mascara

I love this because it's got a different wand for upper and lower lashes which make it easy to apply when on the go. I put it on while my friend drove us to the event we were heading too. BOOM

StriVectin Clinical Corrector
This is the CC cream. I love this company. They started out, or so I'm told by my Younkers seller, as making cream for burn victims. Then it went to being for stretch marks. Then women started using the cream on their faces as well so they started making custom products for everything. I remember being younger and my mother bought it when it was just for stretch marks. It got rid of my dad's psoriasis. My mother and I have used it since. My mother who is 55 is often thought to be in her 40's. She has amazing skin. She'd probably look even better if she lost some weight but that's not her fault since she had to have a hysterectomy young.

Neutrogena Healthy skin 3 in 1 concealer for eyes

Before I got hooked on StriVectin I used Neutrogena only. I like how this is multiple use cream; 3 in 1. It's a concealer, eye cream, and sun protection. As I am huge about skin care and like things to be simple I like that when I try to cover my dark circles that I am also protecting my sensitive skin from the sun.

Covergirl Outlast lip stain feutre a levres

I got this only because it was in clearance. Guilty as charged. But I fell in love with these and I can't find them now. My mistake I guess. I'm going to have to look for a new lip stain. It's not harsh but noticeable. It doesn't come off easy. My boyfriend loves he can still kiss me without getting some on.

Covergirl jumbo gloss balm
This is great for when the lip stain dries out my lips or if I just want a little color or moisture quick.

Bronzer

This particular one is from Victoria Secrets but they have stopped doing their makeup line I think which makes me sad because I really liked it. The thing I liked most was they came with instructional cards for how to do your makeup like a VS Model. Came in handy for holiday parties. But a bronzer that doesn't have glitter will do. Pick your shade to your liking.

Small perfume bottle
My friend messaged me the other day about having what I will call a nightmare at work. She had a fart that didn't turn out to be a fart. Even clean she felt she smelled. Reasons I carry perfume or body spray on me. Plus most perfume doesn't always last all day.

Tontouring Refining my methods

Today I didn't put much tanner on my face. I didn't want orange face again so I didn't put the tanner around my hairline but I put some on my cheeks as that's faded from washing. I used the lighter looking one that I had originally used on my whole face and neck area. I like the look. I used to use a CC cream once I got to work but today I'm not going to bother. I commute an hour to work so I don't  bother putting in my contacts in the morning. I put those in at work. It's great because if they start to bother me during the day I have the stuff to take them out right there. Plus I also have my glasses along with me.

 

As you can see in my picture that I'm at work. I also haven't put any makeup on yet. I also wanted to take a picture at my work as that's what light I'm in the most during the day. Other than I need to work on my selfie taking skills, I like how my skin looks even for being sick with a cold all week. I haven't edited it either. Now I just need to work on my dark circles under eyes.

Tontouring morning after

I shower at night for several reasons. So this morning I woke to find my tanner looked a little orange by my bathroom light but headed to work anyway. I did not apply more, nor did I wash anything off. I checked again at work and it was more noticeable. Luckily I have wet ones at my desk. They are hand wipes and very useful. So took a little off and I felt better.

My cheeks still look like I applied bronzer and my skin looks like a nice glow. I do have dark circles despite sleeping all the time since I've been sick. I do have concealer with me so maybe I can fix that. I don't have any makeup on in these pictures.

TANTOURING

Yeah I'm changing the name. Okay so Tontouring what I did was put on the lighter bronzer everywhere to give my skin nice color. I get told a lot I have nice soft skin. This should really be in a different post but my secret is oil. I put on baby oil when I get out of the shower during winter months. Vitamin e lotion during summer since I live in the Midwest and it gets humid. For my face I use argan oil. All of these are cheap and very few ingredients but they are amazing.

Then I used the darker tanner and put it on a make up brush. I put it on my face only in the locations of where I'd put my powder bronzer normally.

So far little tan but the bottle says to use for a few days for a tan to last a few weeks. We shall see.

Adventures in Tontouring

I wish it was called tantouring, as its contouring with tanner but you can't have it all. I like the concept.  I'm a low maintenance girl which is why I call myself simple. I'm not great at putting on makeup daily. I always feel like I can't touch my face and I feel a little fake.

But when I do put on makeup it includes bronzer. I like how doing the 3 (making that shape on your face) hides my least favorite features. So putting sunless tanner in those spots so I can wake with those perks would be great.

I read on one blog and they suggested using mouse bronzer. I couldn't find that at the store and online it was expensive. The only kind I found was a gradual tanner. The upside is I didn't need to wash it after so many hours.  A downside is that it had some glitter in it. The first rule of contouring is no glitter. But the glitter will come off and maybe I'll have a nice tan left. We shall see.

Day 13 Barely two weeks

Last night I fell off the bandwagon. I know that every site says I should just not look back and keep moving forward. I decided not to continue. I don’t eat/drink a lot of sugar in general. I don’t drink pop or fruit juices. I don’t add sugar to my coffee. The only times I have sugar is when I have a lull in the afternoon and have some chocolate and I’m learning to change that out for fruit.

In the few days I’ve done this I learned:

• That without sugar I have more energy
• That the key time I crave it is in the afternoon but I can eat some fruit and I’m fine
•  Sugar is in everything!
• Shop the outer corners of the grocery store

On to my next challenge . . . 

I'm always trying to improve life and make life simpler. If you know of anything I

should try, let me know.

Day 12 What is it that i'm really doing again?

My usually clear desk is now covered in cough drops, mucus relief, tea bags, and Theraflu packets. I’m not even really aware what I eat as I had to force myself to eat breakfast this morning rather late. It finally occurred to me that Theraflu isn’t a good breakfast. It probably wasn’t a good supper last night either but after getting home late from the doctor’s office and taking a bath, I completely crashed out.

This would have been a good time to do the intermittent fasting. 

Slowly losing my mind

I honestly don't eat a lot of sugar except for maybe Oreo week (my period).  It is now on my mind a lot because I can’t have it. It’s the forbidden fruit.  In ‘French women don’t get fat’ she talks a lot about the pleasures of life. Even in ‘Bringing up bebe’ which is an American woman raising her children in France talks about how French women won’t do anything unless it’s pleasurable.  Those French women must be able to shut off sugar cravings or maybe they just walk so much to stay thin.

I’m not even 100% cutting out sugar from my diet. I still have a few grams per day which are hidden in the foods I eat. Yet I find it difficult to stay below the WHO recommendations of sugar.  I’m not even a sugar addict but I’m slowly feeling like one. Maybe I need to go 100% away from sugar if that’s even possible to do, maybe with a raw food diet or even paleo diet. I thought staying below the WHO was going to eventually become a lifestyle change to a healthy norm. I thought it’d at least, keep me slightly sane.

Maybe this is bad timing too. I started this during my period and now today I am on cold medications. I didn’t feel so bad the first few days but now that I have a sore throat and am congested I want everyone to bring me all the donuts and cookies in the land. I have a weird theory that when you are sick you revert back to childhood. Although I'd like to congratulate myself for eating spinach last night instead of digging out my girl scout cookies.

Day 10 affects not foreseen

I've noticed that since starting this that I've been more absent-minded of late. I usually am to some extent but this has taken it to a whole new level. My boyfriend's mother suggested that I'm not getting enough nutrients. I have forgotten to take my vitamins (see absent-minded) that I usually do so I started taking them again this weekend. We shall see if this helps.

My vacation plans may get moved out because of Jury duty but I still am going to stick with my plan. I also am not going to do detox days (tried yesterday as I didn't make my goal weight). I realize that it probably just messes with my metabolism and isn't worth the lack of energy during the day. Also, I have a sore throat today so maybe I'm getting sick. I didn't really expect my immune system to improve in just one week.

The thing that has bugged me about this was visiting my boyfriends parents for lunch time. His mother had to accommodate to our diet which made me feel like some yuppy snob. To be fair she is diabetic so I teased her that this was a test to see how healthy she's really eating.

Day 7

I’ve lost about a pound and a half. I was happy about that since I only went to the gym once this week.  I didn’t meet my goal weight for the week but I have since adjusted them to be more realistic. I will be happy with it for my trip if I make it. This shouldn’t really be about fitting into a bikini but instead about my body without sugar. It has been easier than I thought. I make up lunch ahead of time with something filling and one thing of fruit for the lull feeling I have in the afternoon. 

Day 5 Is it worth the sugar?

It’s easy to look at things and think that it’s not worth the sugars anymore. I was at my boyfriend’s parents’ house and they were eating really cheap chocolate donuts that normally I would probably have eaten without a thought. Now that I track my food and my sugar, I think it’s not even worth it to cheat. I also feel too good now to even want to feel bad just for some chocolate. Yet still I crave it. It’s like a Jekyll and Hyde in my brain. The rational side knows I’m better without it, enjoying feeling good and that I promised myself I wouldn’t eat it this month. The other side reminds me of the taste, the feeling while eating it, and how easy it is to get it. Is this what an addict feels like? I wouldn’t know. The only addiction I thought I had was with coffee. I’ve never done drugs and rarely drink. But even coffee I can go without being upset over except for a small headache I’d get later. I don’t crave it. I don’t think about it all the time.

I suppose I should specify that not only was the journey for health but my boyfriend and I were planning a trip to the Caribbean so that really lite a fire in my ass. I knew if I was going to reach my goal weight before then I’d need to do something drastic. I can’t see if I’m losing any weight as the batteries on my scale are dead but my clothes feel different. If I don’t reach my goals then I’m going to step it up even more.

Day 4 Explorations in Fruit

I thought fruit would help me not miss sugar as much and it’s true it’s helped. Really the only things I’ve craved since starting are digestives biscuits or even hobnobs. The names sound bad but they are really good biscuits cracker/cookie type things that I get from the UK. I love to dump them in my coffee. They actually don’t have a lot of sugars as cookies go but still have added sugar. They do have a lot of fiber in them to clean you out if you eat too many.

But I was surprised by that the WHO recommendation included sugars from fruits since it’s hard to separate them when calculating. 1 cup of grapes is 15 grams. 1 cup Banana sliced is 18 grams. Orange is 9 grams. You have one banana or a few grapes and you are half done for the day on sugar.

I will admit I noticed I have more energy. Even yesterday when I spilled my coffee in my car and forgot my wallet so I couldn’t get another one. I ended up with a headache which used to mean I wouldn’t get much done when I got home. I didn’t go to bed when I got home but did some laundry as well as other things. But my usual headache wasn’t as bad as they usually are since I didn’t take any migraine meds and my period pain has been minimal. So far so good.

Day 3 Going without added Sugar

I didn’t want to post on day 1 or even before because we all know my thoughts leading up to this. We have all heard that sugar is bad for you. We also have had the thoughts that you wouldn’t want to go without it either. So here is my journey without added sugar starting on day 3.

The last two days I’ve only had 4 grams of sugar according to myfitnesspal app which is well below the World Health Organizations (WHO) recommendation of 25 grams. Even though my period started on the same day I haven’t felt the usual fatigue or pain associated with my period. Usually my period is a week I celebrate by allowing myself to eat a package of Oreos (dubbed Oreo week). It’s the only time I’m allowed to eat that cookie. That whole thing started when I was a teenager and I got my first period. My dad got me Oreos and left me alone. It was the only time I was allowed Oreos and it got me to start looking forward to my periods. Needless to say my dad was a genius (no teenage pregnancy in this house). I have kept the tradition alive even as an adult.

I had my meals planned out, all except for supper. Today was the first day I was throwing fruit into the mix and I went over my 25 gram limit by a little bit. I wasn’t too worried since it was fruit but it made me realize how hard it was to keep to the WHO limit.

The first two days were easy. I thought that a weekend would be hard but staying busy made it easier. Now sitting at my desk stationary, it’s hardier. My coworker brought the Girl Scout cookies I ordered forever ago and forgot about. I forgot my wallet today so I can’t buy anything more today so I have to eat only what I brought with me. Luckily when I did eat it really filled me up. I had beef roast with carrots and I had my sides later for a snack I was so full. Also I think my stomach has shrunk a bit. The fruit did a nice pick me up when i was feeling a little low in the afternoon and was craving sugar.